I am… A man, cis, homosexual (faggot, faggot, …), neuroconvergent, and I could go on and on filling it with categories and classifications, but… Who am I…? It is not as easy as it is supposed to be. I am a man, but what does this mean? It lightly suggests that it is what you who read understand a man to be. And for others? Is it the same? Thinking about “Men” is thinking about what being a man means for others, and what it meant for my grandparents, parents, uncles, cousins ​​and so on ad infinitum… that is, a lot of discourses that intersect. All these discourses ended up convincing me what it is to be a man. So I can say “I am similar to the one whom, recognizing him as a man, (I) merge [as a man] to recognize myself as such” (Bassols 2021). So I am a man for them, and for me?... Why for them? And me?

Cis, cisgender. And this? How modern, something that takes me out of the normative normality... Could it be? It would be more or less like this: someone who is considered equal to the supposed anatomical sex at birth... So it is natural... or not? It's that simple?... Well, no. Science and its taxonomies, although they make efforts to categorize me, I don't find who I am there. Now I do... "Homosexual", but isn't this a binary category? Male/Female, Man/Woman, Hetero/Homo and so on for thousands of couples. What of all this crosses the discourses of diversity to which I subscribe and that I have consumed/learned during my last 55 years?... Do I find myself there? Did I find an equal? ​​Someone of my own species that allows me to categorize/know myself better?... And no... I thought I was a sinner and I learned that I was not, not without pain. I thought it was unnatural and I learned that nothing is natural because I belong to the species of beings that can speak and think.

I recently read that sex always drives you in search of another, who strictly speaking is different from me (because I already said that I did not find anyone like me), therefore, would I be “Hetero” (because I look for the different)? And I get scared. A straight faggot who wonders about his way of being!!!! That is how I got to “Queer” which addresses the question of sex in a radical critique of the notion of difference and sexual binarism (simplifying a lot). But… I do not identify myself with the universal queer, because I find something conservative in myself. So, I would be me, and never in opposition to another binary. I would be a One without Another, a self. And I discover myself “SoloMia”, with a unique “SodoMia”. Mine, the one that allows me in my eroticism to relate to other bodies or bodies. Why not?​

This journey of about 500 words attempts to give an account of my last 55 years, not without pain, not without uncertainty, not without love. But images that run through my memories, my glances… lascivious, erotic and loving… mine… SoloMia(s). Symbolic images that allow the encounter with reality, where sexual desire is one of the possibilities, anguish, laughter, wonder, enjoyment… And so many others. Images that emerge from memory, from smells, from churches, from screens, from desires, from mirrors… From my body, from my flesh, from my soul… From my camera.